St John’s Church, Greenside &
Church of the Holy Spirit, Crawcrook,
Church Office, Main Street, Crawcrook,
Ryton, Tyne and Wear
NE40 4NB

0191 413 7279 Church Office
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Testimonies

Christmas 2011 and Winter 2012 simondd

Simon Spencers' Testimony

When I was very young I went to a Church of England school. This meant that I received assemblies, sang hymns and was generally taught in with a Christian ethos. However, it didn't seem to have a long lasting impact on me in my understanding of God.

Although neither of my parents went to a church or followed Jesus in any recognisable way, they did bring me up with many of the moral values that Jesus teaches, as is the case in many families across the UK. It goes to show that God does have a hand in people’s lives, even when they don't recognise him.

I came to recognise Jesus and all that he has done for us in the months before marrying Rachel. We met with our vicar, Clive, to discuss the wedding arrangements and it was suggested we attend the Alpha course, which we did. I found that until doing the Alpha course, I had been living my life without really understanding what I was doing. On the course I asked questions and thought about what life is about. I received lots of answers and a revelation of what God wanted me and everyone for. I found all my sins were laid bare but was consoled by the knowledge that all our sins are forgiven and we are not condemned.

Through reading the Bible, listening to sermons each Sunday, and attending courses held at my home group, my understanding of Jesus’s teachings has grown and also my knowing God.

I came to know Jesus and to be taught by him, at what some would say was good timing or coincidence, but what I believe is that it was God’s intention. Less than two weeks from arriving home from our honeymoon, my sister Jenny was in a car crash. Her two sons were with her at the time and we thank God they where only scratched and bruised. However, Jenny was far more seriously hurt. Leg and head injuries left Jenny in an Intensive Care Unit for several days, with her life being so obviously in the hands of God. Jenny sadly lost her unborn daughter. We all prayed for Jenny. I prayed for her to live, for mercy and healing.

For many months Jenny was in a coma-like state, but there was small progress over time. Initially it was just opening her eyes and she then went on to squeezing dad’s hand. One day she went from just whispering to talking almost normally.

Jenny is now at home living a supported life. She is able to walk, to see her boys and to hug them, which for a long time seemed like just a dream. I can honestly say God did this. The doctors had told us to prepare for possible organ donation. While Jenny is not the same as she was, due to her brain injury, she is 95% the same.

God wants us to change, to be more like Jesus, but we have to do it by our own God- given free will. While I do not know why this happened to Jenny, I do know that this is a fallen world with evil, pain and death. So to say that God wanted or caused the accident as part of his plan for her is wrong. This situation would have been so much harder to deal with, not just for myself but for other family members too, if we had not known God. I would be lying if my faith was not rocked by this event, but Rachel did an excellent job of guiding me back to Jesus’s path and not just me, but my mother who has grow closer to him. Even in a horrible situation there is always thanks to be given to God, sometimes for more time together, full or partial healing or even relief from this world. I now hold fast to the fact that God knows best, he knows what we do not know and he sees our world as part of his creation but not all of it. The best is yet to come!

Simon Spencer

Val Gardener’s Testimony

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” Isaiah chapter 5 verse 21.

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I have the above quotation on the front page of my Bible, because it sums up the long and exciting learning curve which I have experienced during my personal walk with God.

Like many of my generation, attendance at Sunday school, church each Sunday, and regular Religious Instruction (R.I.) lessons at school, were a natural part of my upbringing. Whilst I did not always appreciate the need for this, it gave me a good grounding in the basics of the Christian faith, but I am still developing my personal relationship with God, and learning about the extent of His love and mercy to me. I made my first commitment to follow Jesus at the age of sixteen, after attending a series of seminars at my local Salvation Army Mission, and worshipped regularly with a group of fellow Christians in the sixth form at school.

At the age of eighteen I left home to train as a teacher, and Jeff and I married when I completed my training. We spent the next six years living in various locations in England and, during this time, I did not worship anywhere on a regular basis and my faith became an incidental rather than an integral part of my life. I could well have drifted on like this indefinitely, but God had other plans for me. We returned to live in the North East at the end of 1969, and our daughters were born a year later. I was unwell for some time after their birth, and we lived with Jeff’s parents in Greenside for a few weeks. During this time I had a visit each day from the local midwife, Irene Hall.

Irene had a “no nonsense” approach to life, and a deep commitment to her Christian faith. She taught me a great deal about the practicalities of coping with two young babies, and made me realise that God was no longer occupying a central role in my life. Irene, her husband Joe and I talked at length about the need for regular prayer and Bible reading, and this helped me to realise that I needed to renew the commitment I had made so many years ago. I began to attend St. John’s church and I was confirmed two years later.

The next major step in my walk with God occurred after the visit of the American evangelist Billy Graham to the North East. As a result of the teaching at these meetings, I joined Joan and Ian Muse’s Bible study group. This was a wonderful opportunity to study God’s word, in a relaxed atmosphere, and to learn about God’s love for each one of us. The group also gave me the opportunity to develop my faith, and to become more involved in the life of the church. I have now been a worshipper in this parish for 40years, and I feel privileged to be a member of this church family. When Jesus lived on this earth, His ministry demonstrated God’s love, compassion and endless mercy, and I can testify to all of these.

In his letter to the Roman church, St. Paul stated that he was convinced that nothing can separate us from God’s love and I have found God to be my refuge and my strength in good times and challenging times . I do believe, however, that God wants each of us to work at developing our relationship with Him and to “grow up in the faith, rather than to grow old in the faith.” Val Gardener

Summer 2011

Stephen Andersons' Testimony

I was born in Cumbria, lived in East Africa and Yorkshire as a youngster and grew up on a farm in the Scottish Borders before working in Aberdeenshire, Cheshire and Northumberland. Maybe that explains my funny accent! I am from a large Christian family and for as long as I can remember, we were involved with the local church and youth groups. As a teenager, I attended school in Jedburgh, but with an English accent I was often considered as an outsider which made life tough at times. I realised from an early age that I was different (as I have different coloured eyes!) and so it didn’t bother me too much to stand out from the crowd. I think this helped me understand early on that as a Christian you often need to go against the flow.

At school I got involved with the Scripture Union group and with the support of a couple of teachers we met together each week. I attended several Scripture Union camps and when I was about 14, I was asked to speak to the camp about what it meant to be a Christian- and that challenged my faith. I realised it wasn’t just a theoretical thing to call yourself a Christian, but there was also a practical side. A Christian is a follower of Jesus and a disciple is a learner and that was really the beginning of my faith journey. Following that commitment over 25 years ago many things have changed. I have been to University and trained as a vet, I have travelled in Africa and lived in Kenya. I have been married to my Laura for 16 years and have 3 wonderful children, all at primary school. I am keen to see my faith integrated into my life and work, so as well as working in the veterinary world, I run our farm in the Scottish Borders and I am still a trustee of the national Veterinary Christian Fellowship. We are now in another phase of life, with our children growing up fast, and we are thankful for the involvement of the local people of God in our lives. I recognise that every day I have the choice to see God’s vision or focus on my own little world. I try to hold to God’s bigger picture and remember that I am his child as it says in John 1:12 “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God…” I know I can trust my heavenly Daddy to look after me and provide everything I need. God has pressed on my heart lately that “A man reaps what he sows” (Gal 6:7) which I know to be true from my farming experience. My prayer for the days I have left on this earth is that I will be a faithful sower - planting better and more fruitful, lasting things into my own life and the lives of those around me, bringing glory to the awesome name of Jesus.

Stephen Anderson

Spring 2011 Annie's Testimony

Annie and Mary This year Mary Johnson from Greenside celebrated her 90th birthday with friends and family at Church of the Holy Spirit in Crawcrook. Her good friend, Annie Brocklebank said "It gives me great pleasure to wish my dear friend Mary, a very happy 90th birthday and many more years to follow. Mary and I became friends through meeting at another friend‟s house. We have now been friends for many years. We both love going to church, whether the service is at St. John‟s in Greenside or Holy Spirit in Crawcrook. Our vicar Clive and curate Caroline always give a lovely service. If you are a Christian or not you are always welcome to join us. Mary and I have helped at Story Club (for toddlers and their parents) and enjoyed it very much. We also support Coffee Stop every Tuesday morning at Holy Spirit, that Cyndi Devonish started. Everyone is welcome to come along for a coffee, a cake and a good chat. It‟s a good place to make new friends too. Both Mary and I have many brothers and sisters in Christ. They help us in so many ways and we love them all. We are grateful to be Christians, and we go together to a brilliant Bible study group. We are grateful to our vicar Clive too. He has been wonderful in starting many groups and running Alpha courses. We ask God to bless Vicar Clive and his wife Cyndi, Curate Caroline, all our brothers and sisters in Christ and you too. Our love to you all".

Annie Brocklebank and Mary Johnson

Spring 2011

Jonny Marshall‟s Testimony

Jonny Marshall "Most people think that God is just another „theory‟ to how we all got here and that Jesus is just another „mythical‟ character. I was brought up in a home with a Christian family. My Dad always took me to church, week in, week out. I hated it then. But now I know my Dad always had my best interests at heart. When I was young there was a particular evening when everything I had heard about God and Jesus just clicked. I wasn‟t a good person, I had done so many wrong things, so how on earth could I possibly go to heaven? I remember sitting through a service and a preacher telling us the dangers of not believing - of going to „Hell‟. I was thinking about "Hell" over and over again, what if I went there? In the Bible, Acts 16 v31, it says „Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved!‟. So that night I asked Jesus to save me and forgive me of all my wrongs. I thought everything would be easy from then. I was baptised on 24 January 2001 and enjoyed going to church each week. But as I got older, towards the end of school, I was noticing my friends doing other things outside of school, which seemed a lot more interesting and exciting than church. So I stopped going to church in the evening, to go out with friends, getting drunk. Eventually I stopped going to church all together. I started to smoke and drink, and then gave in to cannabis. My parents tried all ways to get me back on the right track but I knew best. I started a huge downward spiral in life. I didn‟t care about school anymore, just money and going out. I would be out very late at night drinking, with the exception of a recovery night. I thought it was great! I had already stopped sports due to an injury so the weight was piling on and I was becoming less fit. The drink and the smoking was choking my body, and walking away from God was a huge mistake, but God never let me go. By the age of 18 I had already done everything „you should look forward to‟. There was hospital, due to drinking, trouble with the police, and rapidly losing any respect from my family. I‟ve never yet worked out how these are the „things to look forward too.‟ Towards the end of 2006, I met my future wife. To this day I believe that this was God‟s way of bringing me back. After a rocky six months together, she asked me if we could go to my Dad‟s Church. I was shocked. I hadn‟t ever really talked about what I believed, because it wasn‟t important to me anymore - it was my Dad‟s faith she had noticed and she wanted to know more. So we went, and after a couple of weeks she also became a Christian. God spoke to me a few times and I knew exactly what was going on. But things took another turn. Through my stupidity in earlier years and a lazy attitude to life, I had had my driving licence revoked about a week before my son was born. And so we couldn‟t get to the church we had been going to. We had previously met our local Vicar at a Christian event and he had suggested coming along one Sunday. This had been mysteriously on my mind for a while, but it was a different church and would we fit in? The answer was yes. Walking into the building was like coming home. Clive greeted us with such a warm beaming smile and a hug; the people we met were like family, like we had known them all our lives. We’ve never looked back as individuals or as a family. Things have been tough but God has put people in our way to help us. All he asks is for us to trust. St John‟s and Holy Spirit is home for us on earth. Since receiving prayer from my brothers and sisters, I was healed of my injury from sports and now play football regularly, which I was told would never happen again. As a family we have been blessed in so many ways, money has never been good for us, but we have always had a hot meal on the table every night. God is good, God is real, just believe on Him and trust. Life is never easy, it is a test, we must pass this test and we can‟t do it alone. I realised that and God has never let me down. God loves you so much, he allowed his only Son to die for you. If you believe, the promise is Heaven. That sounds much better than Hell! Have I done „all the things to look forward to‟? No, I haven‟t. I hardly even started. I‟m looking forward to meeting Him who saved me from myself - Jesus. Come along on Sunday at 10am to see for yourself.

Jonny Marshall

Spring 2011 Pamela's Testimony

"As a child I went to Sunday school and attended church every Sunday but as I grew older my attendance became less and less until I only went for Christenings, weddings and funerals. I never really felt part of any fellowship of our local family church. All my life I have believed in God and have said my prayers to him every night and believed that made me a Christian.Two years ago, Elliott, a friend of mine told me about an Alpha Course he was going to at Holy Spirit church in Crawcrook. He told me how God had come into his life and I could see a change in him, as I had known him for several years. Elliott spoke of the warmth and fellowship of the community which attended the Alpha Course and Holy Spirit church and I wanted to be part of it, so I joined the Alpha course and was made to feel so welcome. Alpha is a 10 week course which helps you explore the meaning of life, Jesus and the New Testament. For me the course strengthened my faith that Jesus did live and die for us. Last July I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and I was told that I would need an operation followed by 6 months of Chemotherapy. The night before my operation I prayed to Jesus our God to be with me, to keep me safe and to give me strength. I also said that if it was His wish that I should die, then please take my soul to heaven. When I woke the next morning I was so calm and not a bit afraid. An older lady named Margaret was in the next bed to me. Her operation was after mine that day. She asked how I was feeling and started to cry when I told her I was very calm. She said she did not want to die and was very scared. I went over to her and took her hand and asked her if she believed in God. I told her that I did and that God was with us and everything would be fine. We talked until the nurse came to take me down to surgery. On the Sunday I went to the church hospital and Margaret came with me. I know Jesus our Lord has been with me, keeping me strong. The first morning after my operation when the doctor and nurse came to see me the first thing they said was "Are you sure you had major surgery yesterday you look so well" and I did feel really well. Even through the Chemotherapy I have never really felt unwell and I finished the treatment in December, I have just been told that my cancer count is now normal. "Praise be to God" there is not a day goes by that I do not thank Him for being with me. Since my operation I have become a member of Greenside Parish, going to Holy Spirit church in Crawcrook and its sister church of St John’s in Greenside. I have now been baptized at Holy Spirit church and confirmed there too. My faith grows stronger day by day. And I now have a church that I want to go to - and not because I have to. Now I know that I really am a Christian!" Pamela Henderson

Autumn 2010 Norma’s Testimony

‘I knew there was always something missing in my life, I have always believed in God and prayed when I was in difficulties, but never got involved with church. Then I found Jesus and became a Christian and shared an interest with other Christians. I feel that I have been very fortunate with the help I’ve received from my Christian family. I have discovered there is a bit of heaven here on earth and it comes from believing in Christ Jesus. I want to thank Him for all He has given and especially for making me feel alive again! I have unconditional love. Thank you Lord. Hallelujah, Amen’.

Norma Todd

Autumn 2010 Wendy Moffitt

Wendy Moffit How Jesus and the ALPHA course led me back...

After many years of denying God and after many discussions my Christian boss said ‘instead of not believing until you have proof why not just believe in God until you have proof to the contrary?’ I had never thought of looking at it this way before, suddenly things became much easier in my mind. But actually I stuck there and didn’t know what to do next. I knew I wanted to go to church but didn’t have the confidence to just walk into one.

Then a few months later, eighteen months ago, I knew the hand of Jesus was behind me nudging me along. I met an old friend in Crawcrook; somehow we got chatting about church and she invited me along to the Church of the Holy Spirit Church that Sunday. I cried through most of the service and the next week and the next. What on earth was happening? It wasn’t tears of sadness I knew that because I felt a sense of peace.

Next I was encouraged to join an Alpha course. It was great meeting people who had the same sort of questions as me and the discussion groups enabled some of these to be answered. However for me the ‘away day’ was the one that made all the difference. We were individually invited to pray with the leaders. I thought ‘there’s no way I can get up and do that’ but I was one of the first up, propelled there by I don’t know what. We prayed.

I said I believe in God the Father and asked to be filled with the Holy Spirit. I felt lovely and warm, as if I were being hugged, surrounded and filled with love and happiness. It’s hard to explain but from that point I felt God was definitely present in my life.

I no longer have that feeling that something is missing. I live every day knowing that God has forgiven my sins, loves me and is always there.

Although the Alpha raised many more questions I am now part of a congregation where there is always someone willing to listen and point me in the right direction. On top of all this Alpha gave me some great new friends and the food is fab!

Wendy Moffitt

Autumn 2010 Bill’s Testimony

Bill says “I came to Crawcrook because of a Postal Strike, ‘My Lady Awesome’ and God. I came ‘home’ on 13 October 2009, because an old friend gave me a home while I recovered from surgery and prolonged medical treatment.

My original testimony was written in verse and can be read below. I have never felt as good as I do now and have been confirmed on a night I’ll never forget.

Now, one year on, God has answered so many of my prayers and I know that all I have been through has all been part of His plan for me. I thank the Lord every day and night in my prayers and look forward to whatever He has planned for me in the future.

See the Christmas 2010 Outreach Magazine to read Bill's Testimony in verse

Autumn 2010 Ann Thompson’s Testimony

“Today I know a joy and a happiness that I've never known before. This joy comes not from earthly treasures, but from knowing I am loved by the true and living God, daily I am being renewed by His Spirit, and I know that I am always secure in Him.

I dread to think where I would be today if God had not saved me! Fifty years ago I was born into a loving family, and had a perfect childhood. But life became a blur after my marriage failed, leaving me a single parent with a 9 week old baby and my mum’s death two years later.

During the next 12 years I fell into a spiral of bad and abusive relationships, drugs, drinking to excess and spending money with rising credit card debts, I know now that it was Satan who was in full control of my life but I did not care as I thought I was having fun.

When I was diagnosed with stress and anxiety in 2007, I began to take a long hard look at the way I lived my life and I did not like what I saw, I was lonely, scared and very ashamed of my lifestyle but I did not know where to start to change things.

My good friend Maureen suggested that I should go along to Alpha at Holy Spirit church. She had gone along a few weeks previously (to ‘keep Barbara happy’ - her words not mine) and said the people were very welcoming and it was a really nice warm atmosphere and you got your tea for a £1.

‘Church’ I thought - I had only attended for things like weddings and funerals and Christmas as I liked the carols - I wasn’t sure but I gave it a go - and wow did that decision change my life!

I attended Alpha and in that group I found friendship, fellowship, acceptance and most importantly Jesus. But as I began my walk with God I felt that I had nothing to give, so I gave it to God and, just as He made the world out of nothing, He started his work in me. Over the next few months I heard some really powerful and thought provoking speakers and sermons. I especially remember Revd Dr Russ Parker who gave a talk about shame, being hurt and forgiveness.

Everything I heard was delivering a similar message to me about areas of my life that needed to change. After having lived a 12 year roller coaster ride I was finally ready for that change. On 24^th September 2007, I received Jesus into my life.

I had, some years earlier, put a wall around my heart to protect myself from anymore hurt but as I was letting the love from Jesus in, I also let Ian in.

Ian and I had met a few months previously and we had agreed that our relationship would be without any commitments, but God had other ideas. He brought Ian in to my life for a reason and our relationship blossomed. Ian accepted Jesus as his Saviour and our relationship gave Ian a path back to church, after a twenty year spell away.

We married in May 2008 at Holy Spirit church, with all our church family there to make it an extra special day. Two weeks later we were both baptised by Revd Clive and reaffirmed our love for the Lord.

I began to learn that God’s love for me is perfect because it is based on Him not me. He wants me to receive His love, love myself and let His love flow through me to others. I learned to pray for those people who had hurt me and asked God to bless them.

I thank God that Jesus is our healer. I desperately needed emotional healing and received it through my relationship with Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit who is guiding me into the truth and revealing how Gods word will work in my life. God has given me stability and peace and a future for a life worth living. He has blessed me with a wonderful husband, family and grandchildren and the biggest extended family of brothers and sisters in Christ we could ask for.

His strength is made perfect in our weakness, so don’t make the mistake of thinking you don’t have enough to fulfil Gods purpose for you, just start using what you have and God will do the rest.

I love coming to church, singing, praying and sharing God’s love. I love the sense of belonging that comes over me as I walk in the doors. I have the privilege of serving as Sidesperson, as well as helping out with teas and coffee after the service. And I have also very recently been elected to the PCC, it is really great to be involved.

God made a special place in my heart that only He can fill and satisfy. I had been wasting my life trying to fill my heart with the wrong things and looking in all the wrong places. I have a new life now and it is full of treasures, many of which I never expected, or dreamed of. The new friendships I have formed are precious and sustaining.

I want to be a better person. Every day I strive to be the person God wants me to be, and I continually ask Him for His guidance in how to be humble, to serve others selflessly, and how to rid myself of my pride, among many other things. It will be a lifetime’s work, as I am truly a work in progress.

Thank goodness that God can see my heart and my confirmation on 14th October was about making a further commitment to my Christian journey

Only God can make us complete and I don’t think I will ever be able to find the right

Summer 2010 Colin Pemberton

Colin Pemberton

Who would have thought you would see me in church - not me!

There I was, motor cycle mad, rugby daft - I’d had numerous motorbikes since I was 17 years old. I sold my last bike a year ago and I am looking for a more powerful one. I was a youth coach for Gosforth RFC and Ryton RFC. I held coaching tickets for 12 years from minis (4 year olds) to colts (up to 17 years).

Like others, I used to smile and then mock the so-called ‘happy clappers’. I even used to rib my daughter Miranda’s childminder, Carol Hawley, when she started church. Then Carol threw down the gauntlet, when she said the doors of the church would burn down if I ever stepped through them. Always up for a challenge, the following Sunday my wife Susan, Miranda and I came to church. And do you know what? The doors did not burn down!

When walking into church, I was surprised because I had never met a friendlier and more welcoming group of people as the congregation of this church. When I sat down, a sense of calmness and peace filled me. I did not know why then, but it felt that I had come home. That same Sunday Sue enrolled us on the next Alpha course! The first day of the course was ‘hmmmm’ but the food was good.

After the 4th evening, I thought to myself ‘You know Colin, there’s something in this’. On the Saturday Away Day - talk about fireworks! Since that day I have never looked back. I now help out at the Rock Solid Rock Youth Group and recently became a member of the PCC (Parochial Church Council).

Now if anyone asks me “Are you a happy clapper?”, I can stand proud and say “Yes I am - now let me tell you the reason why...”

PS Jesus loves you, so why not join our next Alpha course?

Summer 2010 Bobby Wigham

Bobby aged 81, says “When I was 18 years old, in the spring of 1947, I was called up to do my National Service in the army. The first 6 weeks were at Fenham Barracks in Newcastle, with the famous Northumberland Fusilliers, doing weapons training. Then I was off for more weapons training to Farnborough, with the Durham Light Infantry. After that, the whole company travelled by train to Liverpool where we boarded a ship and sailed to Malaya. We thought the war was well over, but when we got there, we found that the Chinese insurgents were causing a lot of trouble. We had to help the police hunt them down. We found that we were in a guerrilla war.

One sortie we were on involved going through the jungle in single file. I was in the middle of the file and number one on the mortar team. I was praying to the LORD Jesus, telling him I did not want to kill anyone, when a machine gun opened up in front of us. My number two and I were then ordered up to take out the machine gun. But before we got to the front of the column, the machine gun had gone silent. Jesus has answered my prayer and I never had to fire my mortar.

There were a number of times when I was close to death, but the only thing I killed was a black mamba snake, which had attacked me. The LORD Jesus was always with me and He brought me home safely. 20 of the lads I served with never made it home.

After more than two years, I was travelling home on the bus from Newcastle. It was a beautiful summer’s day when I reached Derwent View, Chopwell. I was looking out of the bus window and down in the valley was my home village of Chopwell. The sun was shining on the roof tops. I could see my home and knew that I would see my family in a short time.

A great sense of peace came over me. Since then, I thought that when I pass on that great sense of peace would be with me when I am travelling to my home in heaven”.

March 2010 Carrie Green

It takes courage to share a personal testimony...

Carrie says: “I’d always called myself a Christian - with a small c. When I was little, my nana (who was house-bound but who had a strong personal faith) used to encourage me to go to Sunday school at the local Methodist chapel and to say my prayers every night.

Although my parents weren’t church-goers, I later found myself joining the choir and the youth group attached to my local Anglican church. This led to me being confirmed at the age of about 13.

The things I remember most about this was our confirmation group washing each others’ feet on Maundy Thursday, a trip to the theatre to see Jesus Christ Superstar and a great outward bound weekend with the youth group. I also remember being friends with the vicar’s son who used to throw some pretty good parties at the vicarage while his parents were away!

Later in my teens I stopped going to church altogether and did what lots of teenagers do – going out, having fun etc ... For many years I only attended church for weddings, christenings and funerals and nostalgically over the Christmas period to sing a few carols. As I got older I filled my life with career, friends, holidays and the like, questions of faith very seldom crossed my mind. I thought what was important was being a ‘good’ person and doing the ‘right thing’ as long as I didn’t harm anyone that was all I needed to think about.

I guess I only really started thinking about church again when I became a mother. I felt a great weight of responsibility to give the children sound values and principles to live by and I started to reflect on what was really important in life. I remember feeling totally bombarded by information and advice coming from all different directions. I thought ‘what a tough world we live in’ and if I found it confusing, no wonder children and young people are confused growing up!! It felt like an internal ‘nudge’, a kind of spiritual wakeup call.

In 2005 we decided to have our two daughters baptised. During the service when I had to say the words of the ‘decision’ something seemed to stir inside me. “I turn to Christ, I submit to Christ, I come to Christ” - I felt that the words had such an important meaning, it was no good just saying it and going through the motions, it had to be deeper than that. About this time we tried going to church on and off with the children but it was just so difficult. It was a nightmare having to sit right at the back, keeping them quiet, changing nappies and breastfeeding in a cold pew. Basically, not much fun at all and I just didn’t see the point. I felt like I couldn’t take much away from the service whilst being baffled with some of the rituals and formality which although a familiarity are often very off-putting. It all just seemed so irrelevant to a stressed out mother of three. I began to feel like a complete hypocrite – just going through the motions so we stopped going to church. I started to think ‘it must be me- I’m just not getting it, maybe I’m not a good enough person’.

Over recent years, I’ve had some quite tough experiences. Two people very close to me have been affected by addictions and alcoholism which left behind a lot of mess. As anyone who is close to an addict or alcoholic knows, patterns of destructive behaviour, manipulation and lies can affect the life of the addict and everyone they are close to. I also had a very traumatic operation which left me emotionally scarred.

Then a very close friend died suddenly. This had a bigger impact on me than I could have expected. Up to this point I’d always prided myself on being a ‘coper’, a strong person, a fixer of my own problems and those of other people. Suddenly here I was, in a position where I felt I could no longer trust anyone. And because I had also been ill, had weaknesses, vulnerabilities - for a time I felt like a failure.

I started coming to church again. This time to Holy Spirit and St .John’s. I heard some powerful teaching which spoke into all areas of my life and had the great opportunity of going along to hear the ‘Just 10’ sessions at Lobley Hill. My ears seemed to be open to all the things that I was hearing.

It was then that I realised that I had to stop relying on myself. I couldn’t do it all on my own. I took a ‘risk’ – a ‘step of faith’ and decided to humble myself to ask for God’s help. I am now beginning to see that all those difficult times, when I was almost overwhelmed, were part of leading me to seek God and find him.

On 7 September 2008 I said a prayer saying that I wanted to follow Jesus. I learned that God loves me so much that he came to earth as Jesus, suffered and died so that I could be restored to living my life to the full. It was a big step of faith for me, as someone who’s always relied on my own strength, resourcefulness, competence and abilities to solve my own problems and those of other people.

I thought becoming a Christian would mean I wouldn’t be able to have a life any more. I didn’t want to give up control. What I found instead is that by asking Jesus into my life, I have been set free from all the things which used to worry me and overwhelm me. I now live, knowing that God will give me the strength to deal with anything I have to face. He will always be with me. I now call myself a ‘Christian’.

I went on to do the Alpha Course which I would recommend to anyone (believer or not) if you want to find out more.

Since then, I’ve been privileged to serve God by helping lead a group doing the Alpha course, joining the music group and praying for people on the streets of Crawcrook.

If anyone had said I’d be doing that I would have said ‘never in a million years’ - and here I am!”

Carrie Green